The Universe. Some scratches of Beryllium. Diving. The Navel of the Galaxies. Maybe god. Maybe the void. Maybe you. Maybe it's just cryptical

Sunday, September 30, 2007

To Be Your Own Star

Object: Stars
Mood: Away
Song: Star Star * The Frames

"Star star teach me how to shine shine
Teach me so I know what's going on in your mind"

Many people blame me when I say I am overloaded with work. That’s because many do not work, and I can’t say I am unhappy when I deal with mine.
But sometimes it’s too much.

I am currently in a tumultuous tornado. I have been working on three separate projects for the months of September/October. That’s what one might call a Suicide. Each project needs its own time, agenda and thinking. So needless to say, I embarked on this journey, knowing already its consequences and side effects.

I worked on three projects because I need some financial plus. When your father is sick and incapable of working, I thought it was mandatory to participate in the house bills, my sister's educational fees and my father's medicine. And to do so, I needed my full energy to acquire the full profits.

The whole conundrum lies in the fact that I can’t complain because I took the projects willingly, even though I thought it was indeed too much.
It gets horrendous when you have no one on your side who understands what’s that like. And when unexpected events occur to add to the fuel that’s boiling in my reservoir, I went over the edge.

For the first project, the person who was in charge has lost her father. So needless to say, my work doubled, if not increased by 300%, since we were the only two to be involved in it.

For the second, my boss had a business trip that was scheduled suddenly, which means that I had to also handle directly what was happening on the ground for our event to take place in the finest possible way.

For the third, which was since the beginning the toughest, I am on my own. And I have to debate with my own self to take the best options available. What’s worse in this one is that I am dealing with emails to foreigners. It becomes unbearable when you repeat the same task several times without having an answer. And yet you do it because you have to.
That's when you work until midnight every night, including weekends.

According to Wikipedia,

"A star is a massive, luminous ball of plasma. Stars group together to form galaxies, and they dominate the visible universe. The nearest star to Earth is the Sun, which is the source of most of the energy on Earth, including daylight. Other stars are visible in the night sky, when they are not outshone by the Sun. A star shines because nuclear fusion in its core releases energy which traverses the star's interior and then radiates into outer space. Almost all elements heavier than hydrogen and helium were created inside the cores of stars."
A star shines since the day it is born.
All the way through until its final days.

And so do we. In times when you are submerged with work, with family problems, with financial gaps…

I ask the stars to teach me how to always be shiny.
That's because I have to shine. I can't show my weaknesses and let them take over.

I have to shine.
All the way through until my final days.

"Star Star teach me how to shine shine
Teach me so I know what is going on in your mind ..."



Anonymous Susana said...

Yesterday you told me you were writing an update on your blog then I tried to reply but it seemed like you were gone.
I had no idea you were under such a busy schedule. I hope that someone gets to help you to relief a bit the pressure you're under.
Personally, I really believe that after the bad weather it always comes good one. Can't be always raining. It really can't.

6:08 PM, October 01, 2007  
Blogger roubish said...

Dear Susana, sometimes it all happens at the same time and you can't escape or run away from it.

I hope the bad weather disappears soon ... that is if the brighter one takes it place automatically right after :P

12:25 AM, October 03, 2007  
Blogger viola said...

courage très cher ami!

11:19 AM, October 03, 2007  
Blogger sarra said...

Cher Roubish yalla courage, j'arrive bientôt :-) (comme si je savais faire grand chose). Comme tu me l'as bien dit un jour: Keep your eyes on the horizon et puis tu shineras toujours mon cher ami ;-) Beso. (Bonne chance pour Arte)

3:23 AM, October 04, 2007  

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