The Unearthly Elevator

Place: The Sky
Mood: Floating
Song: Fourteen Black Paintings * Peter Gabriel

Have you ever felt that the river is flowing way faster than usual?
Have you ever thought the edges of the rainbow are suddenly cut in front of you?
Have you ever been in a dream that changed your life into a nightmare after it was over?

Sometimes you cannot change the course of events. Yet the events sometimes can change your own course.
Now the questions I raised above suddenly make sense.

I've never thought I'd be to talk about love. Moreso, I believed it was ridiculous...
I've had an utterly beautiful relationship. I can't explain the bliss I was living in until, for an odd reason, it ended. And that had an effect on me like I have never believed it would.

You still feel stabbed after time had its stake to heal what it looked like a wound.But you're far from being healed.

I felt like the world stopped. Like I stopped. Like I couldn't remerge from where I fell.
An elevator wouldn't even help.

This setlist of the month works in two parts, this is why it's not the usual 5-song stanza.

The first part is a look back on the nerve-racking tantrum that has been growing inside my being ever since I knew that this person is no longer part of me.
The second is a different sighting. A push to continue.

Part I – The Gloom

01. Human (Goldfrapp) - from the album Felt Mountain [2000]



They went searching for your body.
They went looking, but there's nobody
who smells like you, who looks like you.
You're not human, too.




At first, you're unsure of what went wrong in the relationship. You still hold on your feelings for this person whom you still think is the one you'd cherish forever.

02. It's All Over But the Crying (Garbage) - from the album Beautiful Garbage [2005]



Certain things just happen when you make no plans
And love can really tear you up and it can break you down
Everything you think you know baby is wrong
It's all over but the crying



At this point, you know it's over. And yet you are still in a phase of nowhereland and you revive in your unstable mind the flow of events that shaped this relationship.

03. Try Not to Breathe (REM) - from the album Automatic for the People [1994]




I will try not to breathe.
This decision is mine.
I have lived a full life
And these are the eyes that I want you to remember. Oh.




You loose contact with the person around this stage. And you think you are miserable and have no need to continue living and you'd prefer to suffocate rather than continue.

04. Suffer Well (Depeche Mode) - from the album Playing the Angel [2005]




I just hang on
Suffer well
Sometimes it's hard
It's hard to tell





And then, naturally, you'd dig your lifelong problems to say that you are The King of suffering and that you keep on going.

05. Natural Blues (Moby) - from the album Play [1999]




Oh lordy, trouble so hard
oh lordy, trouble so hard,
don't nobody know my troubles but God
don't nobody know my troubles but God



When you don't share, you explode internally. And you reach the vital point during which you know that if you don't talk about it, you're on your own to return to the surface.

Part II – The Bloom

06. On the Sunny Side of the Street (Louis Armstrong) – from the album Gold [2006]




Grab your coat and get your hat
Leave your worries on the doorstep
Life can be so sweet
On the sunny side of the street





Whatever you have decided to do, keep on doing it, to just forget at first, and then try to fix things with your own self.

07. Fourteen Black Paintings (Peter Gabriel) - from the album Us [1994]



From the pain come the dream
From the dream come the vision
From the vision come the people
From the people come the power
From this power come the change





Soon enough, you discover what a hole you left in your life, and you know that it is imperative to fill it. Here, you'll decipher the true meaning of the word 'change'.

08. Camino (Murcof) - from the album Remembranza [2005]













Camino. The Path. And when you have two paths, the straight one that you were leading, and the one that calls for change, it would be a test for your mind to see if you really got something out of this experience.

09. Carbon (Tori Amos) - from the album Scarlet's Walk [2002]




Just keep your eyes on her
Keep dont look away
Keep your eyes on her
On her eyes
On her horizon




Keep looking far. Not to where your shoe stands. But towards the far end of the sea. Of the sky. Anywhere that screams for you to move ahead. The experience is far behind now.

10. The Shining Ones (Mike Oldfield) - from the album Songs of Distant Earth [1996]













And there you are. Somewhere. Anywhere. An island. A sea of flowers. Wind.
Use that.